Divorce is always bad news for a child because he or she suffers from not being able to grow up together with his parents, no matter what the causes were, the children feel this and some do not get over it even as adults.
If you are in legal proceedings and you want to be a good father after the divorce follow these tips and your son or daughter will not feel bad, although already with the simple fact of not seeing their parents together, the father is the one who must do your best effort so that everything goes well.
Anyone can be divorced (even the biggest movie stars go through these issues every day) you cannot do anything if you have the divorce in hand, so you have to know what are the responsibilities you must assume to be a good father for your children. So do not despair, just take a breath and let’s get started.
Give your child the gift of not having to choose between their parents
When children return from a visit, either with the other parent or with relatives, avoid competitive questions. Everyone has something different to offer and children need all that.
Do not manipulate the time of the mother, you must think that you are not competing for the child, but giving him the double of love, it does not matter if she takes him to the movies or to eat ice cream and you can only read a book, sometimes the activities simpler but with the right person and the best intentions make the difference.
They need the father who has the most money, as well as the father who can offer him the most love. They need the father who is best helping with the school project as well as the one who prepares the best fried chicken and rice.
Do not speak ill of your ex in front of your children
Even if your spouse speaks badly, do not respond. That only lowers your son’s level of respect for you. You may feel that if you do not “defend” your son will think worse of you. But in reality, it is continuous fights that erode the respect your child feels for you.
Even if you deserve it, even if you are telling the truth, do not say bad things about your previous partner in front of your son. Imagine that your child is a table, two legs are his mother and two legs are his father, by saying bad things you are taking away your child’s stability which will make him not confident in himself.
Do not make your son the messenger
There are many ways to communicate with your ex without using your child, while less details about separation know your child is better (sometimes children feel guilty for breaking their parents). You can use the phone, letters or even text messages, in this case if the couple is on good terms can be seen and avoid problems with their children by sending or saying that they do this or that.